Writing a love letter

Yesterday, I met my best friend, we hadn’t seen each other in a long time, It was a beautiful Sunday besides the sea, and we truthfully enjoyed our brunch. We pretty much turn our meetups into counseling or coaching sessions. This time, he needed my help to talk about his undying love for one of our close friends. She is an amazing human being and I hope deep down that it may work out between them, I wouldn’t worry about his heart nor hers with one another. They are each other’s backbone, and they have such a healthy friendship that could switch to a great love story in a heartbeat.

I talked about how Xin used to pursue me when I was un-stoppingly rejecting him and refusing all of his efforts, communicating about my commitment issues, or the lack thorough off of my communication skills. I suck at a relationship cause my parents didn’t show me the right way and I have had really bad ones throughout the years. So of course, I suck at those, only because I demand too much and nobody was able to keep up with that intensity and tests.

Perks of being friends with men, is that you always know what they are up to, and I have seen some really good friends of mine, be complete assholes to their significant others just because they can. So imagine, the trust issues that I already had from the failed relationships got intestfied 10x or more. No man who wants to play survived my wrath, and the thing is, they fall in the end. Only two who didn’t….but that’s another story to tell one day.

ANYWAY! Enough about me, so I told my best friend how Xin didn’t give up pursing me and how he really helped me get out of my shell. I mean, if it’s the right person, whatever they do, it’s always going to work to the benefit of that union, right?

So here we are, he thought of writing her a letter, but he wanted to prepare a speech, instead of just reading it for her, he wanted to feel geniune. Even though a letter is romantic, but given their semantics, a delivered speech is what she deserves, she needs to see his earnest eyes and feel the honesty in his word.

He asked that I help him write something down and here is what I offered, I hope I am not ruining this for them, I really hope it works out.

Dear H,

Today, I chose to invite you out so I can share an important milestone in my life with you, something I wanted to share for quite some time but maybe I didn’t find the courage and surely I didn’t want to add you anymore stress to your life, you’re very dear and important to me.

….I love you, I have feelings for you, and not just the random kind, the sure kind where I see you as the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. The woman I see myself growing besides, I see you as an amazing soul, and a beautiful woman. I chose to tell you today cause as your friend, I don’t want to hide these feelings for you, and I don’t want to deceive you by harboring feelings and pretending otherwise around you, you don’t deserve that. You deserve the honesty. You deserve someone fighting for you.

I am aware I am taking a big leap of faith here and I know that you may or may not be ready for it, I am not asking for a relationship, I am asking that you give me one clear answer on whether or not, you feel the same. I need to know cause It’s tagging on my mental health lately and I can’t keep pretending otherwise. One of the reasons I have decided not to tell you cause I didn’t feel ready, as you know, I am a provider, I want to prepare the best life for you, the life you always talk about, I want to give you the best of the best and the second reason, is that I felt as if I am not worthy of you, but that’s on me, a man is worthy of his woman if he’s working towards her as a life goal. and you are THAT FOR ME! You ground me in becoming better and hustling harder to provide you the life you deserve. I see you as the woman who holds my happiness in her hand, as the woman who is shaping our future together and the woman who I would be proud calling the mother of my children.

But I gave it a thought, it would be only fair to both of us if we are honest with eachother. I am worthy of you and I am ready for you, because I AM SIMPLY SURE ABOUT YOU.

I have always put your best at heart and you have been and always will be a priority, and in this moment, I allow myself to think of me as well, cause you have become my anchor throughout life and I need to know if you are willing to build something meaningful together. That’s exactly what I want, we may need time to reach that, but all what I need to know if you are willing to build something meaningful with me?

I know this is a lot to take in, but I am ready to wait for you, this was the original plan, and the plan still stands but with honest intentions this time.

As I am bearing myself open in front of you, I have a favor to ask you, and since I know you like the back of my mind, I know this must be overwhelming for you, but I need my answer as well, we can meet again after a week, cause a week is all I can bear to hear your answer.

I allow myself to say this finally : H, I really love you. you have bewitched me body and soul.

S.

Crossing my fingers for what’s going to unfold. I hope he wins her heart.